LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A Betoota mum has marked a conflict milestone today as she enters the 30th year in her war against tattoos.
Mother of four Miriam McKeever (54) claims she doesn’t like tattoos which is why she hasn’t gotten any and nobody else should either.
“They just look nasty,” stated McKeever who was rocking a pretty legit Karen fringe until her daughter found out we needed a picture to go with this story.
“The thing about them is, what are you going to look like when you’re older? Old and spotted and wrinkled and tatted? No thank you.”
Around the same time she created human life, McKeever claims tattoos started looking less like art and more like drunken mistakes, forcing her hand to enter a war against tattoos.
While primarily a cold war, notable battles in the 30 year campaign include a glare dropped on her son when he got a premiership tattoo and a time she drew her children’s attention to a tattooed man passed on the street.
“Oh don’t get me started on Mick’s stupid rugby tattoo. It was a fourth division win for goodness sake and you could see that bloody tattoo in some of his wedding photos for crying out loud! Honestly, he makes the biggest deal out of the fact I didn’t talk to him for a year because of it.”
Although McKeever has recruited several other concerned mothers to her cause and allied with a few conservative dads, she is sensible enough to realise she has long been on the losing side of this war but sees no point in giving up now.
“They do tattoos on the face now. My youngest showed me a picture of a rapster [sic] and I thought the poor boy had been injured! It was just his face! Imagine his parents! His poor, poor parents!”
