KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A white board is being rolled out at AFL headquarters this morning, as AFL executives attempt to come up with their own copycat version of State of Origin.
After begrudgingly tuning into the game last night and watching the spectacular 80 minute display featuring 34 elite specimens decapitating each other in acts of unbridled violence, The Advocate can report the bloated Melbourne Uni old boys at the AFL have demanded all members of their marketing department come together for a three-day brainstorm.
Tasked with the role of fitting out the room for the ideation sprint, former Geelong Grammar schoolboy prodigy, now AFL intern Clayton Atkins (20) was told to bring a whiteboard, a box of marker pens, some sticky notes and few reams of butchers paper to the boardroom
“It’s exciting to be involved, I feel like this really could be the start of something special,” Clayton told our reporter whilst taking a microfibre cloth to the white board and wiping off the Hawthorne Review.
Having recently copied the NRL’s Magic Round concept with their own ‘Gather Round’, it’s believed the biggest minds in the AFL are setting the cogs in motion for their very own three-game series which stems from geographic based hatred.
“What about black vs. white. It could really work with all the Voice stuff going on” said assistant grassroots director, Hugothy Murpacker-Leiberfox
“No. No. The woke elites will have a cry over that. We’ll have to do another review that reveals nothing…” senior head of marketing Jordan Oliver-Bontempelli to the room,
“Bare with me here… what if we made it Toorak vs. Portsea?”
“You know, really amp up the clash between generational Melbourne wealth vs the Mornington Peninsula new money?”
“Yeah that’s a start, and what if instead of calling out junior footy clubs like Dubbo and Roma like the NRL does, we’ll announce each player by which private school they went too,” added Darcy Dawson, the AFL’s Director of Media Partnerships.
“And what if we borrowed the cane toad versus the cockroach analogy, but we call ours ‘The Merlots vs. The Malbecs’? Surely we could also take a game to Adelaide and make it a wine festival kind of weekend!? added departing CEO Gillon McLachlan.
Exciting stuff to come.
