CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local suburban footy club’s ‘wall of knowledge’ are in weapon form today, after being parked on the hill for all four open grades, as well as colts.
By the time open 3s ran on, local club legend ‘Pelly’ already had the crowd in hysterics with remarkably abusive and humilating comments about the volunteer referee’s physical appearance.
In a brief moment of silence, it appears that the referee may have missed a hand on the ball, Pelly takes his moment and completely owns it.
“Are you’re eyes painted on ref you fucking inbred looking prick!”
“You look like something I drew with my left hand!!”
The crowd erupts with laughter, just as a couple plastic trays or watery draught beer arrive on the scene, the quench the thirsts of the club celebrities.
As the young and impressionable useless pricks in colts 3 sit there and marvel at the behaviour of the older degenerates, a warm sense of community sweeps through the crowd like the body odour of the un-showered dream-chasers snuggling up against each other on the hill, some still wearing their studded footy boots.
It appears that the collection of former-greats and never-greats have been subtly competing against each other as the day unfolds, making an exerted effort to outfunny and out-alpha each other.
Hours later, another former Springsteen-type-Glory-Days icon of the suburban footballing institutions, Bill Bevans (33), steals the show with a hilarious one-liner in the deathly silence just before the kick.
“He’s got it!” he shouts, before anyone knows if he actually has got it.
The crowd once again erupts, creating a wave of momentum for these husky gentlemen to continue their sideline heckle and clear violation of their own clubhouse’s responsible service of alcohol license, right until the final whistle of premier grade
