CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After ten years in Australia, English construction worker Billy Blackpool (33) says he is still surprised by the cultural clashes he finds himself encountering on the jobsite.
Namely, the fact that his workmates refuse to acknowledge that there is a difference between Scotland and England.
Or the endless shit he cops for eating boiled eggs with his bare hands at smoko.
However, the most recent shock is the sheer insensitivity he was faced with this morning after it became apparent over the weekend that it’s not coming home.
Speaking to The Betoota Advocate this morning, Billy says that his strategy of not talking about England’s exit from the 2022 FIFA World Cup was not an option.
“From the moment I parked my ute, it was relentless” he says.
“They don’t seem to realise I was in tears on the phone to my old man at 8am yesterday morning”
As the Manchester native points out, the banter surrounding England’s 1-2 loss to France came thick and fast this morning.
“Hahaha here he is. You must be spewing cunt hahahaha” said Moey, the concreter.
Jeremy, a Kiwi scaffolder also throws in his two cents.
“Uh oh. First the Queen carks it and now England gets pumped by the frogs. Suck shit you Pommy fuck bahaha”
Billy says as hard as he tries to develop a thick skin in the face of this toxic worksite sledging, it’s hard not to bite.
“You don’t see me winding these inbred convicts up about their useless NRL teams”
“We made the quarter-finals. Where the fuck where the socceroos”
However, as a gentle Englishman, this kind of emotionally intelligence does not get Billy very far this morning – because, as he is constantly being reminded, he is from a stupid country that sucks at soccer.
“It’s called FOOTBALL!!!” shouts Billy, finally snapping and leaving himself even more exposed to another wave of ribbing.
“I cwallled Fwootbwall” says Jed the plumber, mimicking Billy’s voice with what appears to be an Irish accent – before breaking into a hyena laugh that triggers the entire building site to join in.
“Bahaha fuck imagine losing to France. What a horrible way to lose. England really does suck shit. Get over it mate. You suck”
“The American Office is better too”
