Prime Minister Scott Morrison says the leaders of G7 nations have a “strong level of support” for the stand Australia has taken against brown families who have bridging visa issues in rural Queensland towns, as the three-day summit wrapped up in Cornwall.

Speaking to US President Joe Biden and several other neoliberal multi-millionaires that rule the planet, Scotty said there was increased awareness from European nations and North America about Australia’s brilliant use of human rights loopholes to torture young asylum seeker families on a world stage.

“What I detected was a significant and increasing awareness of the impact that brown people from non-white countries have on the Christian supremacy that my constituents are trying to maintain in the suburbs” Mr Morrison said.

“They were blown away when I explained that we actually lock up kids on these islands too.”


It is believed both Biden and Johnson asked Morrison if he could give their business cards ‘this Dutton man’ – who is apparently the brainchild behind the indefinite torture endured by stateless people that want to call Australia home.

“Would love to talk more to him” Biden told the Prime Minister.

“Anyway, always good to catch up Malcolm. See ya when I see ya”

The Australian PM has now travelled to London where he will hope to strike a free trade deal with Boris Johnson in the coming days.

Boris Johnson is now looking for someone to fill the void left in their export market after irrationally decided to leave the EU – while Australia needs to find someone else to trade with after stirring up China to the point where they stopped buying our beef, wine, barley and iron ore. The UK, with a population equivalent to 4.3% of China’s – looks like our best bet.

Currently, there remains differences over tariffs and quotas on agricultural goods and Mr Morrison says he wants to go back to the good old days where we only sold stuff to England, around the time of the Wool Crash.

The pair will try and resolve the differences at a dinner at Downing Street on Monday evening local time.

Mr Morrison will also meet the Queen at Windsor Castle on Tuesday – an honour that means more to him that anything else on this planet.

The G7 has agreed to strict measures on coal-fired power plants and promised to move away from coal generated power. It is believed that Morrison nodded to this proposed target while crossing his fingers behind his back.


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