Report: What The Fuck Is Going On Here?
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In a story that continues to get dodgier by the week, Christian Porter has resigned from Cabinet over the weekend.
The former Attorney-General...
Single Girls In Friendship Circle Complain About Their IBS And Gluten Intolerance Instead Of A Man
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
A group of girls has decided to switch things up today, choosing to talk about their raging stomach issues instead of shitty boys.
This...
“It’s The Next Generation Of Seltzer,” Says Mate After Discovering Japanese Alcohol Concoction
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local man is carrying on today, it can be confirmed.
Tom Mitchell has been convicted of doing so this weekend, after acting like...
Abundance of New 9/11 Docos Briefly Fill The Void Left By Wall To Wall Footy
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
As we reach two decades since the 9/11 attacks, there is an abundance of new documentaries dissecting the profound impact of the September...
$90 Billion Nuclear Powered Subs To Bring Australia Out Of Lockdown In Time For Christmas
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Locked down Australians are getting ready to say a big hello to freedom as $90 billion worth of nuclear powered submarines are coming...
Liberals Wait A Good 3 Weeks Before Joining America In Another War We Will Also Likely Lose
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The prime minister, Scotty From Marketing, announced on Thursday morning that Australia would be paying $500 million dollars to rip up its...
China Panics After Learning They’ve Only Got 25 Years Until Australia Gets 8 New Submarines
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
According to Scotty From Marketing's newest announcement aimed at drowning out the news that Christian Porter MP is paying his legal fees...
Dan Promises To Remove Troops From Demilitarized Zone At Wodonga Once 90% Jab Rate Is Achieved
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
There's some end in sight for the border community of Albury-Wodonga today.
With the state of Melbourne slowly catching up to its northern...
Mate, Have A Look Around… No One Gives A Fuck About Your Foreign Made Nuclear Submarines
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In news that millions of locked down residents have been dying to hear, Australia will have nuclear-powered submarines at some point in the...
Local Big Unit Begins Working On His Summer Rig After Being Inspired By Kim Jong Un’s Glow Up
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Former Betoota Dolphins 3rd Grade prop, Rick Chassis (37) has today laced up the ASICS and pounded them into the dirt track...
