Peter V’Landys, the first sports administrator on planet earth to get organised sport back on TV screens during the unprecedented 2020 pandemic, is under increasing scrutiny as journalists and players grow frustrated with his constant tinkering of NRL rules.

The main gripe, according to the salivating meathead league reporters Paul Kent and James ‘Baldy’ Hooper, is that players are no longer allowed to decapitate one another with head high tackles and swinging arms.

According to these low-rent shock jocks – senior players are now planning a possible revolt against the first competent rugby league administrator in the history of the game – who has successfully negotiated TV deals, health professionals and foreign governments to get the players back on the field in the middle of a pandemic.

As it stands, no current players have actually commented on the new rules against high shots, except for a Victor and a couple of those ADHD young fellas at the Storm who reckon 4 weeks for causing someone lifelong concussion trauma is a shit go.

However, the league journos insist there is a mutiny taking place, and that this new wave of sensationalist stories have nothing to do with the pre-Origin lull in the news cycle that is usually remedied by the media’s racial vilification of Latrell Mitchell.

“Nah it’s real mate” said one anonymous Fox Sports staff writer who drinks too much and has a gambling problem that has ruined his marriage.

“Apparently the players are filthy. And they wanna get rid of V’Landys”

“Because they don’t feel like they were consulted about these rules that have been in place for nearly a decade and have only just started to result in red cards”

“They are worried that if Saint Peter gets away with banning flying shoulders into temples, then he’s just gonna keep changing the game”

“What’s next? We ban cocaine and sex tapes??!”

“Maybe suspend players for rooting complete strangers in packed nightclub toilets??!”



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