IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports| Contact

Waking from yet another night of drinking imported beer out of green bottles, a local Wallabies fan was shocked to see the boys in gold had a game last night.

Rex Conurra, a popular East Betootanese finance worker, woke around ten this morning to see a flurry of push notifications regarding the 27-all draw against the Springboks last night in South Africa.

“Holy fuck,” he said softly to himself.

“Did they play last night? Fuck, I completely forgot. Another draw? Are you fucking kidding me?”

Scrolling through his Instagram feed as he rolled over in bed between his 1100-thread count sheets, he stopped, as he usually does, to like posts made by his favourite players.

This morning, he even left a nice message for Bernard Foley, who celebrated his 50th Test overnight.

“Good on you Foals,” he wrote.

“Keep up the good work.”

However, that wasn’t enough to stop the pangs of guilt from ruining his hangover.

Cursing Bill Pulver has he walked down the stairs to the shower, towel slung over his shoulder, the 28-year-old told our reporters that he ‘felt embarrassed’ that he didn’t remember to kick on with his schoolmates and watch the game.

“I even put two polo shirts out for the occasion now I remember,” he said.

“But now, I just have to go to a pub and pretend I care about the NRL grand final,”

“Go Cows, but.”

More to come.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here