A bloke visiting his divorced father has discovered that the old man isn’t very good at looking after himself if his pantry is anything to go by.

James Reuter [27] is alleged to have taken the drive down to his father’s property in an uncharacteristic act of goodwill, after watching the Adam Sandler movie, ‘Click.’

Aiming to recreate his childhood by eating pot roast and watching some camp action flicks, James was unfortunately struck with a harsh case of reality when he spied various knick knacks littered around the kitchen and a fridge covered in racey bumper stickers using classic boomer humour slogans such as ‘Jesus loves you but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.’

Peering into the fridge and seeing nothing but multiple packages of meat and a loaf of bread, James resorts to sifting through the pantry for an adequate spread – sighing a breath of relief when presented with a choice of peanut butter, vegemite, Nutella and a musty looking tube of honey.

However, judging by the curl ratio of the peeling stickers, James has a feeling these spreads may have been over from when his mum had lived there – a hunch that is proved correct by the telltale ‘19.

“Dad, everything’s off.”

“You need to chuck these out.”

Offering the inside contents of a congealed peanut butter as proof, Jame’s insistence that they go grocery shopping is met with stubborn refusal from his father.

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“Best before is just a recommendation.”

“It won’t kill ya.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here