The effects of the NSW Premier’s snap construction ban continue to felt by the entire workforce this week, as tradesman notch up 7 full days without ingesting half a kilo of deep fried beef entrails covered in tomato sauce.

Padstow-based glazier, Roddy Birms (42) has today come down with feverish cold sweats and a crook tummy as his withdrawals from the smoko van kicks in.

The possibility of having contracted the Sydney Sneeze has also been ruled out, as the stood down construction worker makes a point of getting tested each day because he’s got full all else to do in between struggling to educate his kids and watching the midday white water rafting events at Tokyo.

The Greater Sydney Construction ban continues for another week, as NSW reported 145 new local coronavirus cases on Monday, including at least 76 who were infectious in the community.

Senior NSW government ministers are pushing for a rapid return of major construction on infrastructure projects after the snap decision to close the industry was made without consultation.

NSW Planning Minister Rob Stokes and Infrastructure Minister Andrew Constance say that neither of them, or any of the party’s valued political donors in the construction development industry, were consulted about the closure of the state’s $600 billion construction industry before the decision was made by NSW’s crisis cabinet.

However, while there is a very real risk of the hysterical Sydney housing market failing to increase by the annual 20% in value that keeps insulating the wealth-hoarding nest eggs of retired property investors, the lack of naughty smoko van purchases appear to be the most immediate issue facing the industry.

“Damnnn” says a couch-ridden Roddy, as his young family begin to realise just how much processed meat and iced coffee he consumes on a daily basis.

“I just need one of those battered Kabana with melted cheese inside the sausage”

“You can’t find that shit at woolies. They only exist in smoko van bain maries”

“Babe, do we have anymore Vanilla Coke left? I’m starting to get a bit light-headed”


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