CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The federal election is well underway in Western Australia – as Anthony Albanese hits the streets to remind the sand people that he is actually the leader of that party they elected by landslide at the state election.
the Federal Opposition Leader arrived in Perth on Thursday morning, after coming good on his promise to board the first flight West after the border came down.
While copping flak from the media for only visiting Queensland and the Northern Rivers for a couple days, in the midst of their major flooding events, it seems that Albanese would actually prefer to be covered in mud with a broom in hands.
After already visiting Labor’s target seats of Pearce and Hasluck on the first of a three-day visit yesterday, Albo has again remembered how little there was to do in Perth – if you don’t own a jet ski licence.
“Fuckkkk” said Albanese, after calling a press conference just for something to do.
“How much longer am I here for?” he asked the journalists.
“Ummm… I believe two more days, Mr Albanese” said Lang Buswell, a crack reporter from the Kerry Stokes Caterpillar Tractors Herald.
“Haha. Holy shit. Really? Ive already visited all the electorates. I wrapped all that up yesterday and still had time to murder like eight pints at the Little Creatures Brewery. What do I do now”
“West Australians… Nothing against you lot… But can you build a few rollercoasters or something? This place is boring as fuck”
Mr Albanese’s comments were met with immediate death stares from the devoutly patriot journalists and nearby onlookers, however, the fact that he was flanked by their beloved leader Mark McGowan was enough to prevent him from getting a Scarborough Kiss.
“Deadset” continued the ALP leader.
“I’d have more to on my plate if I caught coronavirus like the Prime Minister”
“What else do you lot do for fun? Light shit on fire?”
Albo then paused, as he appeared to have stumbled upon an idea on how to kill the rest of the afternoon.
“Actually wait up” said Albo, now clearly having a conversation with himself, while the reporters fumed quietly at his disrespectful comments about their great state.
Sooo… can we kill some sharks or something”
“Where do I find those drumlines. You people love killing those majestic animals aye”
“Can I kill one? I’d be so down”
“Oi can ya eat them? haha”
“Take me out the back of Rottnest Marky. Lets reel in some Great Whites”