Prime Minster Scotty From Marketing has today had strips torn from him by the National Press Club in Canberra, as it becomes clear that not even Rupert Murdoch and Peter Costello are willing to nail their flag to this Morrison Government.

It is the first time in 2022 that the Prime Minister has agreed to taking part in an ABC broadcast, exposing himself to a rare form of accountability that he doesn’t usually have to worry about when talking to the 90-year-old multi-millionaires who interview him on talkback radio.

However, it wasn’t just the public broadcaster’s journalists that were running the ball up at the Prime Minister as he stood on stage for the National Press Club address.

While the great unwashed protested jab mandates outside, it seems Scotty was taking more flak inside the building as Channel 7, Channel 9, Sky News, the ABC and the Telegraph grilled him over all of the issues they’ve been reporting on without any comments from him.

The Prime Minister was asked by Sky News political journalist Andrew Clennell whether he had lost touch with everyday Australians, requesting Morrison list the price of essentials like milk, bread and Rapid Antigen Tests.In a rare instance of the Prime Minister not pretending to be a relatable everyday bloke, Scotty actually admitted that he doesn’t actually buy any of those things and he’s not going to pretend that he does.

However, the most hurtful dig came from Channel 10’s Peter Van Onselen who asked Morrison to comment on a text message exchange between former NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian and an unnamed sitting Federal cabinet minister, where he was described as ‘a fraud’, ‘a complete psycho’ and ‘a horrible person’.

The Prime Minister nearly fainted at this level of disrespected, before finally getting an answer out.

“Well Peter, ya know, not far from here, journalists like you, even now are being met with bullets, but not here in this country”

The PM went on to explain that in neighbouring countries such as Indonesia and Mexico, journalists are being routinely assassinated for asking questions like the ones that he’s been asked today.

“Like.. Yeah… That is a bad thing. For sure” said Morrison.

“Because journalism is a pillar of every democracy yada yada. But… by pillar, I mean one of many”

“Such as you see in a Woolworths carpark. There are many pillars and journalism is one of them. And like in the Woolies carpark, you can crash into one and destroy it and the building is still standing.”

“That is what I’m trying to say,”

“That you would be shot in the head and your body dumped in a canal if you asked these questions overseas.”


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