With small business supplements en route, the people of Sydney are doing their best to act like they are upset with today’s news of an extended lockdown.

NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has announced the Greater Sydney lockdown will continue for another week to give the state “the best chance of having a normal life when we exit”

From 45,000 tests yesterday, NSW has records 27 new local cases

“Unfortunately only 13 of those were already in isolation,” Ms Berejiklian said.

“Seven were in isolation for part of their infectious period and seven, we understand, were in isolation for all of their infectious period.”

“So we are giving this another week. Put on a load of washing and fill the jerry can up with fuel for the lawnmower because we ain’t going nowhere” said Gladys.

“The winter sun is shining and the leaves have fallen. Get your activewear on and stay away from other people!”

This news has resulted in masked cheers from the inner-west Bay Run to the concrete stairs of the Bondi-to-Bronte walk.

In fact the only people not happy with this news are those with primary school aged children, who don’t yet have the cognitive skills to be placed in front of video games for another week.

Other than that, everyone seems to be feigning outrage – because being made to eat and drink takeaway in activewear is something that Sydney residents actually want to have legislated outside of a pandemic too.

Unlike Melbourne and Brisbane, the city of Sydney is known for its big blue harbour views, that extend from the Pacific ocean all the way through to Parramatta.

Whereas Melbourne’s closest thing a a view is the grey smog overlooking Antartica, and Brisbane only knows a beautiful but dull Chocolate brown river – Sydney is centred around 240 kilometres of Harbour shoreline – with walking tracks that punctuated by unspoiled beaches, picturesque gardens and pockets of natural bush.

It’s for this reason that the NSW Premier’s unfortunately announcement this morning wasn’t met with a Victorian-esque groan from the people.

“Oh no Gladys! Don’t make us drink takeaway coffee in activewear for another week” says Sydney.

“We haaaaatteee this!”


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