A local Betoota Heights grandmother of 23 is feeling a rush of relief today, after learning that the government has a plan to immunise the underpaid foreign visa-holders who are given the duty of making sure she doesn’t die.

“Oh it’s great news” Nanna said this afternoon, from the common room at The Betoota Over-55s Accomodation Centre.

“That virus would run through me like a Wüsthof in hot butter, darling”

“I was really worried when I found out that the people working here were scared of getting that Oxford jab because of all the blood clots the Prime Minister kept bringing up over the last 6 months”

“But it’s great to learn that he will pay for them to take a day off, out of encouragement, when their GP notifies them that there are enough jabs for them”

This comes after the wildly ineffective marketing ploy known as ‘The National Cabinet’ met last night to put in place measures to encourage residential aged care workers to get their first jab by mid-September 2021.

The decision comes after an increase in community cases across the country and concerns from within the aged care industry that compulsory jabs will see many people leave the sector – a warranted consideration which might speak to a much bigger issue surrounding the Prime Minister’s efforts to undermine public trust in the AZ shot because he wanted to buy time because it took him 6 months to develop a roll-out program.

There is also other niggling problem that no one knows where this roll-out has not been advertised in anyway because he has not ordered enough doses to cover the surge that might result from even one TV ad or billboard.

In other decisions by this ‘national cabinet’, Scotty From Marketing has also announced that he will pay for anyone who needs to get time off to get this jab in mid-September, which is big of him.

National cabinet is getting further advice on making vaccination compulsory for disability care workers, but this will be a state responsibility and there would be no Commonwealth funding program such as with the aged care workers.

This follows a transport worker triggering the Sydney outbreak because he was too scared to get the AZ jab and wasn’t required to for work.


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