A Toorak man who talks like a character from a Jane Austen novel has failed dismally today in his efforts to convince the proud state of Queensland to revolt against their Premier.

Convicted racist and prominent Shiraz-swilling conservative toff, Andrew Bolt, has taking his orders from Rupert Murdoch with great glee this week – and launched a full scale attack on Annastacia Palaszczuk.

However, his ten-dollar-words and elitist sneers were to no avail, as Bolt was surprisingly unable to move the dial even one millimetre in his efforts to paint the bumbling Prime Minister as a hard working public servant who deserves more respect than he gets from North of the Tweed.

Local Mackay roofer, Dudley Brangus (55) says he couldn’t give a fuck if that whingeing little blue blood from Melbourne thinks the Queensland Premier is being ‘mean’.

“I’m apparently in the high-risk category because of my blood pressure. This dopey Prime Minister can’t get me my first until late August.”

“I couldn’t give a fuck if she’s cracked the shits. We’ve tried being polite with these bastards and we are still at the back of the queue”

However, Bolt is still following his orders, despite the fact that he is clearly missing the mark almost as badly as he did when he backed Cardinal Pell in the days after he was convicted of being a rock spider.

In both columns and on his depressingly low-rated Sky News program, Andrew Bolt has attacked Annastacia Palaszczuk by describing her as the “perfect example today of the idiotic, paranoid, fact-free, fearmongering” that is making Australia an “international laughing stock”.

Barbara Currie (45, Hairdresser, Redlands) says if the red-wine-toothed creep at Sky News is worried about Australia being the laughing stock of the world – he probably wouldn’t want to look at the graphs that show we have the worst jab roll-out program in the world.

“We are below countries that live in extreme poverty. These Hillsong drongos didn’t order enough jabs”

“They spent are year beating their chests about locking us down, but now the virus is escaping the Hotels and these southern wankers have got the hide to tell her that she’s offending their southern sensibilities”

“Well I say, fuck these bastards Anna.

“Fuck them without a kiss”


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