Local chippy Dennis Dingle from Betoota’s booming Ponds District has today had to do the double tap on his hunger pains.

The 38-year-old door-hanger says usually a white bread roll jammed with that fluro pink processed meat with lettuce and carrot and a litre of iced coffee will do the job for smoko.

And by usually he means every single day, because the job he’s working on in is square in the heart of Betoota’s Vietnamese-heavy Flight Path District.

However, today is different.

With a ‘hangover that could dust ten cunts’ – Dingers needs to double his load size to soak up last night’s Betoota Bitter.

He briefly toys with the idea of asking old luv to add some shredded cheese and double the lettuce, but that won’t do it.

“Fuck!” he says, in full earshot of the three elderly Vietnamese women patiently waiting to take his order.

“Should I just get two of the cunts??” he asks

The shop owner sizes him up and down and responds with a question of her own.

“You sure?” she asks.

“Yeah you’re probably right” he says.

“Fuck it. Nah. That might put me to sleep”

“How about I’ll go the bunnerz and the curry steak pie thanks luv”

“That will do it” she says.

“Ice coffee?”

Dingers burps, and then holds his hand over his mouth out of fear of a chunder.


“I’ll go the black doctor today”

“Just the can thanks luv”

The three women begin to giggle as it becomes clear just how hungover this bloke is.

“Yeah yeah yeah” he says.

“Laugh it off”

“Oi no chilli!”


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