Although it is clear that this government can shit the bed in just about any way you can imagine, there is one law introduced last year that has been quite effective; the banning of nicotine vapes.

From October 1st 2021, new laws meant that illegal nicotine vapes were made even more illegal in order to reduce the rapid vaping habit that half the country developed during lockdown.

Since the law has been in effect, only people with a prescription from a doctor have had access to nicotine vapes which is why you never see them anywhere anymore, at all.

It is not yet known who the fuck is supposed to supply pharmacists with vapes, or if tobaccanists have any real interest in reading someone’s prescription before handing over a 1500 puff Lychee Guava disposable that has been imported directly from China with very little information available online.

However, the legislation has worked, as anyone with teenage kids will tell you.

One place the benefit is felt the most is in our nation’s high schools because what teenager would want to risk breaking the law while also looking cool.

“Our bathrooms don’t smell like strawberries and sour apple anymore,” said a Betoota High PE teacher who misses the good old days of catching kids with a packet of Benson & Hedges Smooths behind the groundsmen’s shed.

“The bathrooms are back to smelling like good old fashion piss again.”

But according to Betoota High student Borris* – the adults have been fooled once again.

He says vapes are just as easy to get as before as the shops still selling them don’t really care about selling to minors when they’re already breaking the law, and to be honest they’d probably sell them cigarettes if they asked anyway.

When asked why the bathrooms still smell like piss and not like scented vapor, Boris said it’s because the new piss flavoured e-cigarette is all the rage right now, as is the urinal cake flavour.


*Name has been changed.


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