19-year-old Ally Martin is very well aware that there is a lot she doesn’t understand about the world yet.

For one, she has no idea what the Afghanistan War was all about. This is because she was born three years after 9/11 and therefore can’t really fathom how scary terrorism was twenty years ago.

She’s also never really understood why it was such a big deal that gay people wanted to get married when she was in year 8.

That’s just the start of it. She also cannot really appreciate the cultural institutions that seem to be so important to older people.

“Like, what the hell was The Simpsons?” says the Gen-Z Scorpio.

“Or Eminem? Hahaha. I listened to Eminem the other day. That is so cringe”

While she accepts that as someone who was raised on a steady diet of Ariana Grande and Broad City, there is obviously going to be a few generational gaps between her age group and those older weirdos who listen to ‘the radio’ – Ally also thinks it wouldn’t hurt for one of these millennial senior citizens to help explain their bizarre pre-TikTok interests.

“I’d love someone to explain what Facebook was, and why it was so popular” she says.

“I just don’t really know why people would post 57 photos from their 21st birthday into a permanent online album for everyone to see”

But as someone who has been using wireless headphones since primary school, the main question Ally has for old people is why she always sees them holding their phones to the side of their heads and stand still on the street.

“What are they doing?”

“Listening to music?

“Or like, the radio? Is that how you listen to Triple J? I keep hearing about this Triple J thing. I don’t know what it is?”

Ally says this particular generational trait has been bugging her for some time, and it’s almost up there with people who smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol all night.

“Don’t they get really full?”

“Like, I saw a guy at a bar drink 5 or 6 beers in a row. The big glasses too”

“Haha what a bunch of freaks”


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