ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A young Old Boy from one of our town’s most exclusive and leafy schools has quoted Joseph Stalin this afternoon inside the main bar of a famous French Quarter watering hole.

With his hair pushed up in a scaffold of mousse and pathetic vanity, Spencer Brown explained that the politicians need to start listening to businessmen over scientists because “the world keeps on turning”.

The 27-year-old-son-of-some-cunt was in conversation with some “students” from the South Betoota Polytechnic College who took umbrage at what he was saying to his classmate across the bar, Hubert Clyne Humperdink.

“But your leftie Jesus, Joseph Stalin, once said that one death is but a tragedy and a million is but a statistic!” said Spencer.

His oversized inbred teeth clinked against the weird French schooner glass.

“You don’t actually believe we can beat this thing? Right? It’s here to stay,” he laughed.

The students looked to end the conversation but after three schooners of Gold on a hot Tuesday afternoon, Spencer wasn’t going to let them off with a ‘warning’.

“Who do you think paid for your JobKeeper last year? It was small businesses and the tax they pay. I just don’t understand why lefties like you little peasants think enterprise should be penalised and hamstrung. If you had your way, I’d be the one paying for your Bachelor of Bongo Slapping and then your first-class honors in Aztec Autofellatio.”

Again, the students tried to leave the pub.

“Hey? Where are you guys going?” said Spencer.

He looked around the bar as if he had an audience but discovered that only he and the dribbling Hubert Clyne Humperdink were engaged in what was going on.

As Spencer looked back at the students, he did so just in time to see them slip out the door.

“Stupid lefties,” he laughed to himself.

“Come on Hubert, let’s drink-drive home.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here