The people that live within the Federal Division of Eden-Monaro say that they are now exhaling harder than ever today, after witnessing what could have been their Federal MP shit the bed yesterday morning.

NSW Deputy Premier, and once Canberra hopeful, John Barilaro has hailed a “great day, great result” yesterday, despite being alpha’d into backing down over a stoush that threatened to blow apart his Coalition government.

In the middle of a pandemic, The Nationals had threatened to move to the crossbench of NSW Parliament, over a proposed koala protection policy restricts farmers from land use

However, NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian stared down Mr Barilaro’s threats for Nationals MPs to stop supporting Government legislation – calling her deputy’s bluff and threatening to strip the Nats of all cabinet portfolios unless they pulled their fucking heads in.

Despite the massive splits in Ms Berejiklian’s Government becoming visible, the coalition government will remain in tact, as will the laws that prevent ‘farmers’ but mostly ‘developers’ from being able to kill koalas in their natural habitat in the pursuit of unbridled land clearing.

However, it’s not just the koalas that have dodged a bullet, with voters from Eden-Monaro revealing that they have never been more thankful that Labor retained it’s hold over their electorate in the July by-election.

“Fuck. Imagine that” says Kev, a diary farmer from Bega.

“We could have had that lunatic representing us in Parliament. Would have caused big problems for Scotty From Marketing too”

Another voter, Beryl (schoolteacher, Queanbeyan) says she always knew that Barirlaro was more focused on the urban sprawl than actually looking after the land, and those that call it home.

“Christ. He just threatened to overthrow a state government in the middle of a COVID-19 second wave”

“Over what? The right to shoot native marsupials?”

“Maybe this guy is a little unhinged”

At time of press, Prime Minister Morrison had chosen to not comment on the instability of the NSW Government, because he is much more concerned about Dan Andrews doing not enough to stop COVID-19 from spreading – and Annastacia Palaszczuk doing too much to stop COVID-19 from spreading.


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