FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact

In earth-shattering news, Scotty from Marketing has shown he is just a regular person like you and me; by building a cubby house on the weekend whilst numerous cameramen filmed the effort for the nightly news. 

“Wow, he is so relatable!” said Pool Chemical shop owner Joe Regular, 46.

“I often perform menial tasks whilst being pursued by the media. Just yesterday I needed to put a new line on my whipper snipper and the bloody paparazzi swooped as soon as I stepped outside.”

“I had to tell them to piss off because they kept zooming in for close-up shots while I was trying to concentrate. I got hit in the head with a boom mic twice. Looked nice on the news though.” 

Jane Citizen, 52, says that she too has been harassed by nosy media crews whilst trying to perform everyday tasks.

“I was just trying to vacuum out the car and next thing I know someone is clipping a radio mic on my belt and asking me to move the car to an area with better lighting.”

“I thought this was something only Scotty from Marketing had to put up with; just goes to show how he is a regular person just like you and me.” 

The windowless cubby house, strategically poorly-designed for maximum relatability to the common man who just makes it up as he goes along based on what he’s found in the shed, has been built for daughters Abbey, 11 and Lily, 9.

Although it could be argued that kids of that age might be getting a bit old for a cubby house, it should be noted that the Morrison family comes from the Sutherland Shire where the average price for a house is over $1.2m. In the future, the cubby house will be a critical entry-level foothold into the property market for the girls if they add some windows, and mirrors to make it look bigger.  

In the meantime, the camera crew is staking out the front yard of Kirribilli House, based on information from an anonymous source that the Prime Minister is about to shotgun a Bundy and fit an RM Williams decal to the back of his new Kingswood ute.


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