A rare Christian hipster from Betoota’s gentrifying French Vietnamese Quarter says she read the original version of Passion Of The Christ, and it’s so much better than Mel Gibson’s adaption.

Claudia Standett (26) says when it comes to pointlessly violent and gory depictions of religious figures being tortured to the point of temporary death, nothing compares to recount of the illiterate peasants who were allegedly there at the time.

“Oh are you guys talking about Passion Of The Christ” she says while interrupting nearby conversation a local coffee shop.

“Have you read the original book. You’ve got to read the book”

The Passion of the Christ (also known simply as The Passion) is a 2004 American biblical drama film directed by Mel Gibson, written by Gibson and Benedict Fitzgerald, and starring Jim Caviezel as Jesus Christ, Maia Morgenstern as the Virgin Mary and Monica Bellucci as Mary Magdalene. It depicts the Passion of Jesus largely according to the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. It also draws on pious accounts such as the Friday of Sorrows along with other devotional writings, such as the reputed Marian apparitions attributed to Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerich – however, according to devout Judeo-Christian film buffs like Claudia – it’s way off.

“Some of the dialogue in Matthew doesn’t really translate that well to film.” she says.

“Well. Not the way Mel did it”

“The books way better”




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