One of Betoota’s most noisy medical skeptics has today ditched her campaign to discredit the health experts working tirelessly to get us out of this pandemic.

For the last 12 months, French Quarter resident Shalayla Mortimer (29) has relished in the power that comes from undermining proven science.

It all started with a couple of links that were shared with her by her yoga instructor back in December as the first whispers of a nationwide jab roll-out began.

From there, the Federal Government’s chaotic mixed messaging around the efficacy and criteria for certain jabs has only added fuel to this young mother’s fire.

As one of millions of middle class white women who were raised believing there were no glass ceilings in Australia, the workplace sexism that Shalayla faced in her brief career as a promising corporate saleswoman is one that left her feeling powerless to do anything in this world except raise children. This is perhaps why she has taken to this conspiracy theory with such gusto – as she cherishes the ability to take back control of her life from the old men in suits.

But today, the renegade ended suddenly. It didn’t take much. Just a warm, loving hug from her double-jabbed nanna.

With no community transmissions in Queensland, Shalayla is one of the lucky Australians who is able to visit her grandmother in the underfunded aged care home she lives in.

As she studies the walls of the yellowing Church-run institution, it becomes clear to Shalayla that if the government was really being paid off by billionaire medical fascists, then maybe they might have a bit more money to spend ensuring Nanna doesn’t have to eat canned fruit and custard for brekky every single day.

Within minutes of their reunion, all of the misinformation that Shalayla has allowed into her restless mind unchecked evaporated. All of the flawed links between Bill Gates and her local GP vanished.

“How are you darling?? It’s been so long since I’ve been able to see you” says Nanna.

“How are the kids? Is everyone safe? I can’t wait until we can all meet up in the same place. They say your cousins in New South Wales might be able to come home for Christmas if we can finally get enough jabs into arms”

“I really hope we can do that. I haven’t been game to visit the bowls club in months.”

Shalayla smiles as she looks down at her ageing nanna. A woman who was born just after the Spanish Flu ended and has avoided meningococcal, polio, tetanus, Hep B, Hep A, Whooping Cough and Mumps with a simple jab in the arm.

“Hopefully soon!” she says.

“I still haven’t booked my jab! Gotta get onto that today!”

“Thanks for reminding me”


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