The Federal Opposition Leader, whose name is Anthony Albanese, has today called on Australians to consider changing their consumer behaviour to support small businesses through lockdowns.

Speaking to the media in Brisbane today, after spending the last few months getting back to Labor’s coal miner roots in regional Queensland, Albo made it clear that he has about as much faith as the voters do when it comes to letting the Prime Minister decide what our tax payer dollars get spent on.

“If you are in lockdown and have the extra scratch to spend on supporting your local restuarant…”

“Make sure you don’t use any of those delivery apps that are enslaving workers into this bullshit concept of a gig economy”

“Get in ya fucken cars and drive to them. Put on ya mask, wash your hands, and walk up to the door”

“And after you’ve ordered ya meal, walk down to the nearest ATM and draw out some cash to pay them”

Albanese went on to clarify that while he doesn’t encourage tax fraud, he also isn’t a big fan of tax-payers watching a a fair whack of their lifetime’s earnings being blown on buying votes in marginal electorates and bailing out the big businesses that have only seen their profit margins explode during the pandemic.

“We don’t need to build anymore car parks next to train stations that don’t exist”

“We don’t need anymore money being tipped into Bridgette McKenzie’s rifle club”

“We need money going into the hands of the small businesses that have seen their customers evaporate due to these lockdowns that were caused by transmissions leaking from Scotty’s private sector quarantine facilities and spread amongst frontline workers who hadn’t received their jabs”

Albo says he had the full support of the Labor Party when he says that Scotty has taken enough from small businesses over the last couple years.

“Cut Scotty out. Fuck him off”

“Pay these poor bastards in cash and keep the secret between the two of youse”



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