The political party that spent 10 years paying an entire generation of parents a cash bonus of $4000 for every bun that popped out of their oven, says the idea of a jab cash incentive just doesn’t make sense.

The Morrison Government, which is still stacked with several architects of the infamous ‘baby bonus’ have been quick to slap down the Federal Opposition’s cash jab proposal this week, with the Prime Minister claiming you can’t ‘pay away concerns’ that the public might have with these immunisations that he has repeatedly stigmatised in his efforts to slow down the roll-out so he could re-shift targets.

While $300 certainly isn’t the same as $4000, it is also clear to voters that taking 15 minutes to get a jab over the space of 6 weeks is certainly easier work that carrying a child for 9 months and raising it for 18 years.

“The $300 won’t work” Morrison has repeated through out the week.

This comes as a surprise to an entire generation of Australians that were bribed into having more kids than they could afford by a Liberal Government who simultaneously slashed funding to the education services that would teach those same children how to use critical thought – eventually turning them into the anti-vaxxers that are now actively undermining our medical experts and calling for Bill Gates to be lynched.

The $4000 baby bonus scheme was introduced by the Howard Government in the 2002 budget, and was apparently aimed at offsetting the expenses associated with bearing a child.

The government also insisted the scheme would increase Australia’s fertility rate and ‘to mitigate the effects of Australia’s ageing population’ – which is basically the Liberal Party’s way of saying ‘we have created a situation where we are far too dependant on immigration and we must secure a future for the white race, even if these children are born into poverty’.

The scheme became synonymous with reckless spending, as it became clear that a child doesn’t actually cost as much in infancy as they do at school-age, and $4000 doesn’t usually last ten years if you are only having kids for the cash incentive in the first place.

Australia’s favourite community leader and electronics magnate, Gerry Harvey was known for targeting baby bonus recipients with flat screen TV specials and sound systems, this resulted in the baby bonus scheme receiving the colloquial nickname ‘the plasma payment’.

However, the very similar proposal of a jab incentive is completely different, according to the current Government, because the only thing that could come from it is that the opposition gets credited for helping us out of this mess.

Scotty says the cash incentive was “a vote of no confidence” in Australians that suggested they “won’t get vaccinated unless you dole out the cash” – a comment that could have only come from a man that has never held a shovel – and therefore wouldn’t understand that doing something you don’t want to do is much better when you are getting paid.


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