The self-indulgent, sanctimonious people of our fine state’s southeast corner have somehow crushed an outbreak of the super spicy cough despite historically being branded ”dumb rednecks” by the denizens of the diseased south. 

After the Pangolin’s Wrath jumped the fence down in Indooroopilly last week, concerns grew that the River City was going to see a widespread outbreak of the Sydney Sneeze.

But somehow, they’ve avoided it.

Speaking to the media this morning in Brisbane, the QLD Deputy Premier, Steven (with a V) Miles said he was just as shocked as anyone else.

“Nah,” he prefaced. 

“I thought we were fucked, hey? But yeah, nah. We’ve come good. Yeah like I was a bit nervous, like how those clowns down in Cough South Wales reckon we’re all just a bunch of dumb cunts who sit around all day doing fuck all but yeah, I reckon there’s a bit of egg on their face today,”

“Like they are fucked down there. Absolutely fucked. Honest to God, mate, it’s like their government is one of those Boeing lawn missile, those Max ones or what they are,”

“They look pretty good when you’re looking at them but, you know, you could be just flying along and then the plane decides to fly you into the ground at Mach 0.95. Like fucken kablamo! One minute you’re eating peanuts and watching that dopey Beatles movie Yesterday or whatever in Green Christ it is, the next you’re blown to bits on the side of some mountain,”

“Anyway, I’ll be at the Pig & Whistle this afternoon if you want to speak to my face. Hooroo.” 

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here