Mate Who Lived In New York Might Have Mentioned It Once Or Twice
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
As anyone in their twenties with the funds and a former Sex and the City obsession is inclined to do, Maddie Coates (29)...
Mark Zuckerberg Too Busy Reinventing Agriculture In The Metaverse To Realise WW3 Has Started
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Silicon Valley's hopes that the entire world would detach from reality and seek fulfilment in a decentralised online world have been dashed this...
Spoilt Millennials Prepare For Major World War After Surviving Pandemic, ISIS, GFC
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The world's most entitled and lucky generation is today preparing for its latest blessing - World War 3.
After being graced with a...
Breadlines Pop Up Across Russia As Australian Economic Sanctions Destroy Roo Meat Supplies
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Things are looking grim in the places like Moscow and St Petersberg today, with the reality of war starting to take hold.
Barely...
Report: Everyone Just Woo Up A Little
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
As the nation wakes up to another grim day of news, a polite request has been submitted for everyone to just fucking woo...
People Of Ukraine Relieved To Learn They Have The Support Of Some Of The World’s Greatest Minds
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the situation escalates on the Ukrainian border, all hope for a ceasefire pact seems to be fading by the minute.
Russian President Vladimir...
Dutton Frantically Tries To Redirect Parcel Of Tanks To Ukraine As Putin Gets The Party Started
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Defence Minister Peter Dutton is frantically trying to redirect a parcel of new tanks to Ukraine this morning after...
Dutton Forced To Apologise To China After Revelations That Chayce From Cairns Was Responsible For Laser Pointing
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The nation's Defence Minister has had to consume a little bit of humble pie today.
Peter Dutton has been forced to issue a...
Report: Can You Please Settle Down Cunt
The whole world is today united in their request for President Vladmir Putin to settle down cunt, as the biggest country in Europe looks...
South Betoota Newsagency On Standby To Update Maps of Russia
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
As the world furiously sweats over the possibility of a full-scale war erupting on the Ukraine-Russian border, one local newsagent is...
