Nana Calls Just To Check You’re Not Eating Red Meat Today
LOUIS BURKE | Investigation | CONTACT
Abigail Douvan (22) of Betoota’s French Quarter received a call from her Nana today, just making sure she’s not planning to eat any...
Entire Family Forced To Eat Filet-O-Fish Burgers Because Of Mum’s Catholic Guilt
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A family road trip has been horribly timed with Good Friday, it has been confirmed.
After several hours on the...
Events Of The Past Few Weeks Teaches Man That All Forms Of Government Are Fucking Hopeless
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A man from our town's aspirational Heights District has given up on ever experiencing good government today and decided...
Byron Bay Residents Not Exactly Known For Their Selflessness
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
After Brisbane went into lockdown earlier this week as a result of two Covid clusters, the virus has now been sighted in NSW's...
Labor Announce Plan To Win Over The Masses By Making Lame Ass Electric Cars A Tiny Bit Cheaper
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In a landmark moment for the nation, the Federal Opposition Leader has laid down a bold future for Australia.
Anthony Albanese is set...
“I Was Just Following Orders,” Says Daytime Sky News Employee At The 2056 Bundaberg Trials
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
At the conclusion of the Australian Civil War in 2055, the Bundaberg Trials were conducted in part with the...
Cash-Strapped Barnaby Plans Bank Heist After Learning He Probably Won’t Lose Job If He’s Caught
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Popular backbencher Barnaby Joyce told reporters this morning that he's actively planning an armed robbery today after learning that...
Brisbane Dad Actually Needs 3 Days At Home To Sort Out Lawn After 250 Mil Of Rain In One Week
Proud lawnsmen across the River City are today rejoicing at the news that their Premier has given them full permission to do nothing for...
First-Year Uni Students Can’t Believe How Loose They Are Having A Beer At Lunch
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Though he felt like it, first-year law student Gavin Hoskings didn't sleep in and skip his morning lecture today.
That...
Daily Bulletin: Shock In Youth Politics, Little Brother Put In His Place & Brave Woman Arrests Local Thief – March 29
Clancy Overell and Wendell Hussey kick off another day in news, live from the Budgy Smuggler Booth.
