ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A man from our town’s aspirational Heights District has given up on ever experiencing good government today and decided that after the events of the past few weeks, the best form of government is no government.

“I hate them all,” said Darcy Teer, a marginally-employed landscapers who’s had enough.

“Any elected official in this country. I hate them because they’re the most self-serving pieces of shit in society. Fuck them, fuck this government and fuck the next government after that. Fuck this state government and fuck the mayor,”

“I’ve just had a gutful of seeing these red-faced fat old cunts in suits on my television every night blaming ever other cunt under the sun for their shortcomings. We should just have no government. Imagine driving down the street and seeing some senator walking down the footpath, you could just pop the left wheel up on the footpath and bounce the cunt into the shop front with the corner of the five-poster,”

“How good would that be? Fuck me, I’m just so sick of politicians. And that the next election, you just know there’s going to be another fat old cunt with nipples the size of dinner plates telling you he’s not like other politicians, he’s an anti-politician politician and he wants you to vote for him. First in the pit for him. Jesus wept. Fuck, sorry for the rant, I’m just fucking tired of all the bullshit,”

“It is what it is, mate.”

Our reporter stated that if Darcy wanted to start by perhaps bouncing Betoota Mayor Councillor Keith Carton into a shop front with the corner of his five-poster that would be good.

More to come.

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