Sports

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT The set builders at FoxSports are being applauded this week for their work in crafting a fully functioning guillotine. With head coach redundancy drums already beating loudly at multiple NRL clubs including the Dragons, Knights and the Titans, The Advocate understands a team of carpenters, engineers and set designers at FoxSports were told that during the off-season,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The NRL's newest expansion side, The Dolphins have silenced all of their smart arse critics overnight, by pumping the premiership favourites the Roosters in their first ever match. However, this wasn't the only record broken last night, as coach Wayne Bennett struggled to contain his excitement. The Dolphins steamrolled the Bondi Boy 28-18 in front of 32,177 fans at Suncorp...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact In some sad news for Aussie F1 fans, McLaren driver Oscar Piastri has today been unable to finish the season-opening Bahrain Grand Prix, due to his car failing to restart after the steering wheel was replaced with an old, duct taped bootlegged one. This marks Piastri's debut as a Formula 1 driver, which comes after a slew of drama...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Bosses at the National Rugby League are today contemplating the state of their league, after an interesting first round of matches. Namely, questions have been raised about the NRL's ability to sustain 17 professional teams after the Sydney Roosters turned out for an embarrassing performance yesterday afternoon. Facing up against the might Dolphins, the east Sydney club offered...

JASON BARRY | Victorian Leg Tennis | Contact Rumour has it that Geelong’s dual-premiership winning coach Chris Scott has offered to secretly swap roles with Essendon’s new coach - his brother Brad - if Brad proves unable to get the Bombers an early win this year. The offer bodes well for the Bombers given that Chris Scott holds the highest winning percentage of all AFL...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Betoota dad Damo Stoker (54) is absolutely cheering today as he now officially has seven solid months of conversation topics absolutely sorted.  Not a fan of small talk, or big talk for that matter, Stoker often struggles to make forced conversation between his deadshit neighbours, who always seem to be out the back having a dart at the same...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite rolling India for just over a hundred runs in the first innings, both Mark Waugh and Matthew Hayden seemed unimpressed with the bowling performance. "Big deal," offered Mark Waugh. "I bet even you could take five wickets on this deck, Haydos." Matthew 'Haydos' Hayden is arguably the most accomplished Australian batsman in India. Despite batting left-handed,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Honourable Member For Kennedy, Mr Bob Katter III, has offered his predictions for the 2023 NRL Season (See Headline)

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With a potential player’s strike still on the cards, fans of other clubs have put their hands together to thank the Wests Tigers for starting the potential player's strike ten years early. At the time of writing, the Rugby League Players Association (RLPA) are in continued talks with the Australian Rugby League Commission (ARLC) and National Rugby League (NRL,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Uh oh! It seems the moral arbiter of professional rugby league may have fallen off the saddle of his high horse, according to recent reports by the Sydney Morning Herald. In news that can only undermine his ability to criticise players for off-field misconduct or drinking problems, it appears that outspoken NRL360 host Paul Kent may have made a...