Andrew Bolt Desperately Searches For Link Between 2nd Lockdown And His Fictional African Gangs
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Australia's second-largest city has begun a second lockdown in response to a spike in new community-transmitted coronavirus infections.
Melbourne's five million residents are now...
Local Developer Converts Mangrove Swamp Into “Wetlands” By Installing Park Benches
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
In a win for residents of the new Betoota Creek subdivision, the most useless 5% of the site has been converted from a...
Melbourne Security Guard Fucks Entire City
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In a rare moment of humble defeat, the Premier Of Victorian has today admitted that maybe the future of human civilisation should not...
“This Is Probably Going To Sound Racist…” Says Bloke Who Is Absolutely Correct
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
After work drinks for the boys from West Betoota Formwork And Concreting took a risky turn last night, after loose cannon Todd loudly...
NRL Commentators Still Struggling With The Concept Of “Emotions”
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Once a job requiring specialist study and training, NRL commentators are now mostly former players who provide the type of commentary that suggests...
Police On NSW/VIC Border Quiz Motorists By Asking Them To Identify Deep Fried Potatoes
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Tensions are high at the border of New South Wales and Victoria as the two southern states squabble over something worth squabbling over...
Widowed Nonna Stuck In Flemington Housos Wants To Know Who Told Pauline About Her Ice Problem
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
92-year-old Flemington resident Gloria Bianchi-Murphy is now in day 4 of police-enforced lockdown of her houso flats in Melbourne's coronavirus hot spots.
With a...
Nation Starting To Think Eastern Bloc-Style Concrete Flats Not A Good Way To Store Poor People
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Right across inner-city Melbourne, and in about three or so suburbs in Sydney, the horizon is made up of crammed brutalist public housing...
Security Tags On 700ML Bottles Of Bundy Offers Unique Insight Into Suburb’s Demographics
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
While Australians have always based the liveability of a suburb on the cost of property, the hysterical east coast housing crisis has now...
Husband Patiently Waiting For Wife To Clean Bathroom Before He Trims His Beard
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
Feeling a strange tingling sensation on his face, local man Henry Wills is suddenly struck with the urge to shave - and he...
