ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The President of the United States has taken a security briefing this morning surrounding North Korean nuclear weapons test over the weekend from a local handbag designer who also moonlights as a chief security consultant to the President.

Ivanka Trump, daughter of President Donald Trump, told her father that now is the time to strike as the tensions escalate rapidly.

“Just fucking do it, Dad,” said the popular designer.

“Show ’em who’s boss! He’s basically like begging for it. Just blow up like half of the country and see what he does. I bet he says backs down. Daddy, don’t wait any longer!”

“Crush him!”

However, a number of leading advisors within the President’s national security team have told him that using thermonuclear weapons against North Korea, let alone any country is not good foreign policy.

Trying to defuse the situation, one prominent figure within the US Military has explained to The Advocate that it’s often hard to outline the gravity of such situations with the President.

“It’s all good and well to bring your kids to work, but not every day,” said the army man.

“But Donald Trump does it all the time. He’s got people with a lifetime of experience advising him on pretty much every thing and he just laughs and rings his daughter,”

“I’m actually a bit worried… for the first time ever.”

More to come.


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