ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

After spending yesterday being bumped and pushed about by the hoards of tourists in Dubrovnik, a local bloke currently on holiday in Europe has concluded that he hates tourists.

Speaking to The Advocate via satellite telephone, Dennis Pooley said he and his partner have had their ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ trip to the set of Game Of Thrones ruined by crowds of people.

“This place as so beautiful when I came here like five years ago for yacht week,” said the South Betootanese pest control specialist.

“Now it’s just full of sunburnt fucks in cargo shorts with almost no spatial awareness. I almost bombed a cunt in the back of the head yesterday for dawdling then stopping without warning,”

“But fuck man, Dubrovnik used to be such a great place to come. Now it’s gone to the dogs. It’s supposed to be the low season, too! I paid good money to see the GoT set but all I saw was a sea of tourists!”

The 34-year-old said he’s already locked into a payment plan with holidaying giant Contiki for the holiday, something he says has rubbed salt into his wounds.

However, the company has lashed out at the Mr Pooley, who won the prestigious ‘Neck Most Like Kevin Rudd’s Thigh Award’ at the Dolphins League Club preso night last month, saying that Dubrovnik only made up a short part of his holiday.

“We show you the best of Europe and other parts of the world,” said one company rep.

“Unfortunately, the world is overpopulated and there are people everywhere. Including on GoT Tours in Dubrovnik, so we make no apologies,”

“We feel Mr Pooley should be thankful he’s on holiday and look forward to enjoying Corfu this weekend.”

More to come.


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