ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local young bloke just plying his trade down the Betoota Heights Stockland Woolies has been told to shove two rare Ooshies up his arse by an irate elderly shopper who showed no interest in claiming them.

This afternoon after his shift was over, Max Galhoolies did just that.

It was just after lunch when Derek Graham ventured out of his modest townhouse on Resevior Street, just up from the intersection of Hinze Link Road and Dame Flo Avenue, to do some grocery shopping.

The pandemic, he says, has really worn him down but it’s the small things he enjoys doing when he’s at the shops that keep him going.

And today, abusing a polite young man at Woolworths was one of this small things.

“He said I’d earned 10 Ooshies from my shopping,” said Derek.

The Advocate spoke to the retired merchat sailor today because there was not much else going on it town today.

“I told him to take those Ooshies and shove them up his fucken arse! And you know what that soft-eyed prick did? He did nothing except stare at me like some sort of bloody pervert!

“Jesus Christ, this town is going to shit, it is, but. If it’s not the fucken drugs, it’s the fucken rooting and the tracksuit pants. Christ Almighty!”

As it was only 1pm by the time our reporter was able to leave Derek’s townhouse, they elected to drive the short distance down the hill into the French Quarter to pay Max a visit at his home.

When asked what he was getting up to on this wet and windy afternoon, Max said he was taking some time out.

“I dunno,” he said through the flyscreen of his front door.

“This old bloke gave me a bit of a spray at work today and told me to shove a couple Ooshies up my arse so I thought I’d give it a go,”

“Tell you what, mate, it’s not for me.”

Our reporter thanked Max for his time.

More to come.


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