When Brighton native Cameron Gilchrist (27) envisioned his trip to Australia, he pictured snorkelling The Great Barrier Reef, journeying the red centre and sinking tins as he overstays his Visa, something he may tragically never get a chance to do if one more Australian asks him to say ‘howzat.’

“Oi! Say it again! How funny is that?”

Hailing from a wealthy manor-dwelling family, Gilchrist bares the resemblance of a traditional English gentleman, whose visit to Australia could be easily mistaken for that of a royal visit to the colonies.

His upper-class demeanour, posh accent and inability to tell the truth for fear of offending, is what Gilchrist believes has gotten him into situations where he must attempt to say Australian idiomatic words to drunk locals, for fear of his safety.

“So far I have had to say words, and terms as it were, such as ‘you beauty,’ ‘bloody rippa’ and ‘esky’ whatever that means.”

Gilchrist gave a harrowing account of his first encounter with Australian’s who demanded he adapt to their culture.

“I was watching the football in a sports bar while I warmed my pint by an outdoor heater, very much enjoying a moment of privacy. These men seated themselves at my table and asked me if I was watching the ‘soccer.’ It was all downhill from there.”

Having not sustained injuries from any of Australia’s dangerous wildlife, Gilchrist admits he has suffered many viciously hard pats on the back after not only attempting Australian slang but saying words in his native accent.

“They say ‘say yoghurt for us’ as if that’s a perfectly natural thing to say in civilised conversation. They may laugh at my pronunciation but all I’m doing is speaking The Queen’s English as it was originally intended.”

Despite being called ‘a real sport’ and ‘not bad for a pom’ Gilchrist says he doesn’t plan on overstaying his visa and thinks he might be leaving Australia sooner than intended.

“I’ll have you know; it has been nothing like Love Actually.”



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