Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has finally arrived in Queensland overnight to make sure he gets photographed alongside SES workers, as they attempt to save the lives of South-East Queenslanders ravaged by flood waters.

But not before putting on a champagne luncheon in Canberra to welcome one of his most important constituents, British Murdoch powerbroker Piers Morgan.

As the Brisbane River broke banks in the central business district, and began destroying homes throughout the suburbs from the Sunny Coast to Lismore, both the QLD and NSW premiers were running 24-hour press conferences complete with sign language translators relaying urgent safety and evacuation warnings.

However, as has come to be the case throughout the last term of Parliament, the threat of a major natural disaster was not going to get in the way of Scotty’s perks as Prime Minister.

If you haven’t been lucky enough to read any of the tone deaf Murdoch mastheads while your homes and businesses were being destroyed by floodwaters, Sky News commentator Piers Morgan met with Prime Minister Scott Morrison for a 45-minute meeting in Canberra yesterday – causing him to push back any mention of what was happening in Queensland.

According to the tabloid journalist, known for his bizarre obsession with vilifying Meghan Markle, their riveting conversation touched on just about everything except the floods currently destroying livelihoods in Queensland and Northern New South Wales.

Piers Morgan tweeted: ‘Great to meet Australia’s Prime Minister ⁦@ScottMorrisonMP⁩ at his office. Had a fascinating 45-min chat about Ukraine, China, cancel culture (not a fan), ⁦⁦@BorisJohnson⁩ (big fan), cricket (the Ashes 🙈) & my new global TV show. Thanks for your time, PM. 👍’

However, Queenslanders totally get it.

“Oh yeah, you gotta do what you gotta do,” said Brisbane-based SES volunteer Darren Lewis this morning while refueling the boat.

“Obviously there are people dying and losing everything in these floods, but they’ll subside shortly.”

“Cancel culture though? Who knows where that ends if you don’t spend the better part of an hour talking to some upper-class English loudmouth about it.”

“So, Queenslanders totally understand the Prime Minister’s decision to delay getting up north to help the rescue and recovery effort, so he could have a cup of tea and a scone with an ex-English TV host.”

“We love people who go missing in a crisis.”

“So I can’t wait to shake his hand if he ever pops his head out.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here