Australians living outside of Queensland’s South-East Corner are today frantically calling their friends and family in the big smoke.

With Wivenhoe Dam at 184% capacity, roads and schools across Brisbane are closed this morning, after the arrival of last night’s ‘rain bomb’ that battered South East Queensland overnight converges with the Brisbane River’s peak tide.

Floodwaters are yet to reach 2011 levels, but that all depends on the next 24 hours of rain – with a long recovery expected ahead regardless.

As Queenslanders wait patiently to see if they’ve seen the worse of it, those who can have started organising brooms and skip bins in preparation for the Mud Army clean up.

However, some are still isolated to their residences, with roads – and in some cases – stairs cut off from the rest of the world by that brown Brisbane sludge that we’ve all come to know so well.

One of these Brisbanites is aspiring tattoo artist Ash Patterson (27), who was quick to soothe his mate’s concerns earlier by calling back home to the Darling Downs to tell the boys that all is well.

“Haha. Nah don’t worry about me brus” says Ash, with a softened tone.

“All good here. Me and my house mates are highhhh and dry hehehe”

With the water lapping at the stilts of their timber Queenslander sharehouse, Ash explains to his mates that he and his housemates were well prepared for this natural disaster.

“We’ve got plenty of supplies. If you know what I’m saying” says Ash, as he coughs out his 6th bong hit from this morning’s wake and bake.

“Might right run out of spin but we can always cut open a few Bushells teabags”

At time of press, Ash and his housemates were googling how to get their hands on Scotty’s new $1000 FloodKeeper payment, citing the sheer horror of losing power for half an hour at 2am this morning.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here