EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Russia and Ukraine used to be part of the Soviet Union, with Russia being the most powerful country, and Ukraine the second.

During the cold war, Ukraine held the majority of the soviet’s military arsenal and after the collapse of the soviet union in 1991, Ukraine became an independent state and kept the weapons.

However, they agreed to give it to Russia a few years later under the ‘Budapest Agreement’, which guaranteed their independence.

Ukraine at the time was run by president Viktor Yanukovych, who was pretty friendly with Russia, agreeing to a bailout from Russia instead of integrating Ukraine into the European Union, which would have provided Ukraine with more protection and a far more supportive partner.

And then like the little bitch boy he was, Yanukovych fled to Russia when hell broke loose in Ukraine, as people rightfully protested the fact they were pretty much sold the country to Russia.

Russia then got pretty mad that they no longer had a president they could manipulate, so they chucked a fit and demanded full custody of Ukraine’s child, the peninsula ‘Crimea.’

Russia then continued being obsessed with Ukraine for years, not taking the hint that they wanted nothing to do with them.

This included shooting down the Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 flying over Eastern Ukraine, which rebels mistook for a Ukrainian military aircraft.

The Minsk agreement was then signed shortly after, as a promise to end the war in the Donbas region of Ukraine.

This of course, was yet another broken promise.

Now the current leader of Russia, Vladimir Putin is gaslighting Ukraine into thinking that his presence is meant to save them.

Inside sources reveal Putin has a printout of the old soviet union world map on his bedside table, prompting many people to suggest Putin sees a therapist about his codependency issues. 

“It’s been years now, he needs to get a fucking hobby, it’s embarrassing”, says a local bloke.

“One of his mates need to tell him to pull his fucking head in.”

Though other countries would like to help Ukraine out, Russia has threatened drastic action should anyone interfere, using isolation to continue being a piece of shit.

More to come.


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