EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Though local woman Bree Spencer is almost thirty, she still finds herself haunted by core memories developed in her childhood , ranging from the burglar sound in Sims 1, the scary maze game her asshole brother showed her, and the most traumatic of them all – her satanic white furby named Phineas.

It’s alleged Bree had nagged her parents for one after seeing ads for them on television, thinking the cute toy was nothing but a harmless companion who she could teach fart noises to. But how wrong she was.

It’s reported that although Phineas had started off acting relatively normal, Bree soon found the toy speaking at random points in the night, even uttering a string of gibberish sentences that sounded oddly like tongues. That and the piercing wails that would happen every time she tried to put the furby to sleep, doing as the instructions noted and placing the toy in a dark place until it cried itself out – which just so happened to be the kitchen pantry, as it was the only place she could think of that was completely blocked off from light.

Unfortunately, the choice to place the furby in a high trafficked area proved to be a massive mistake, causing the furby to scream ‘AHHHHHHHH’, whenever someone unwittingly opened the door for a snack. A jump scare that happened so many times, her mum finally threw the devil spawn into the landfill.

Despite this traumatic event occurring almost two decades ago, Bree still finds herself hesitating every time she now opens her food pantry, with her muscle memory tensing in preparation for her furby’s welcoming wail… and in all honesty, she wouldn’t put it past the toy to make a sudden experience, given it seemed to operate on some kind of supernatural frequency.

More to come.


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