ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Melbourne man has asked people from Melbourne to start acting like people from Sydney as the city begins the long journey down the road to recovery.

The state’s defacto leader, Daniel Andrews, has is calling on his fellow Melbournese kinfolk to just do what they’re told for a few weeks – then they can go back to doing whatever they want.

“Which is what they’re used to,” said Andrews today during an afternoon telephone call with this masthead.

“People from New South Wales and Queensland are a docile people. They let the government walk all over them. They do what the government tells them to do. Wash your hands, stop licking windows on the bus. Stay away from each other, don’t disrespect the police,”

“Please, just do what you’re told for four more weeks. Then you can go back to doing things like catching a 2am comedy show above an axolotl shop. You know, Melbourne tings,”

“Sorry for saying tings.”

More to come.


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