ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

An American who fled the third-world for the green pastures of our cosmopolitan desert community has told friends this afternoon that he felt overwhelmed by homesickness when he saw a man going about his business in town with a gun on his hip.

The man was later identified as a plain-clothed policeman.

But that doesn’t change the way Conor Spokane feels about it.

“For a split second, I felt like I was back home in Dallas,” he said.

“Seeing a guy with a gun just doing normal shit like filling up a truck with diesel fuel or doing his shopping at the store or what have you. You know, just Regular Joe shit,”

“But yeah, bro. So weird. This is the first time I’ve actually felt homesick in like months, dude. Yo, it’s crazy how cops have guns here but the people don’t. It’s like how you guys drive on the other side of the road. So crazy, man. I was gonna ask him if I could hold it but my friends said the cop would probably baton my ass if I did.”

The Advocate reached out to the French Quarter Police station for comment on whether Conor asking to hold an officer’s firearm would’ve resulted in him getting beaten into unconsciousness with a telescopic baton and they replied ‘yes’.

More to come.


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