The current trend of inner-city creatives and university hipsters tucking in plain t-shirts to their stretch jeans, paired with Blundstone boots, has resulted in a lot of confusion for ex-cons roaming around our nation’s cities, it has been confirmed.

The new fashion, which is reminiscent of old blokes just released from Long Bay or Pentridge Gaol in the early 1990s, has left the pioneers of this look feeling as though they must been out of the game too long.

Former drug dealer and half-reformed criminal, ‘Bully’ Di Marco says all these young fellas dressing like Chopper Read made him second guess who well connected he was to the underworld.

“All these blokes getting around like they’d just ditched the prison greens and were trying to look neat for their parole officers put me in a panic” he said.

“I thought Jesus Christ, who are these blokes. I thought the younger crims were more into nautica and face tatts. This lot look like they used to do over ANZ banks in the Western Suburbs with Neddy Smith”

“Even their missos dress the part too with the frullet and leather jackets”

As Bully later found out himself, his confusion was just an intellectual reaction to a new youth trend.

“Turns out it’s just how the hipsters dress these days” he says.

“I figured that out when I asked one of these blokes wearing a Midnight Oil shirt and vintage South Sydney Rabbitohs hat if he knew anywhere I could buy some heroin”

“The little cunt nearly shat himself”

The new style of youth fashion, aptly titled ‘choppercore’ has been at the centre of 1990’s renaissance, led by a number of musical and literary icons, namely the Betoota Advocate’s intern Wendell Hussey, Nick Lupi from Spit Syndicate and Johnny Took from DMA’s.

The trend has also put the authorities on edge, as the streets of both Collingwood and Kings Cross look as though they have experienced an influx of paroled bank robbers and former standover men, with the NSW Government promising to carve off money from women’s shelters to make sure NSW Police are equipt to tackle these hoons, most of whom are just musicians and arts students.




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