LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Married couple Liz and Andrew Vanker sat down to another pleasant evening of debating what TV show to watch before spending the whole evening on their phones and smart devices.

Although the pair have been happily married for five years, Andrew still hasn’t got the hold of this whole marriage thing, as evidenced by scrolling through his Instagram feed in full view of his wife’s human eyes.

While this is not an issue for most couples, Andrew was unfortunately born an idiot and failed to realise that his wife might not appreciate him looking at tanned photoshopped arses while lying across her lap.

“Oh yeah, weird app huh? I don’t know why Instagram recommends this shit to me,” stated Andrew while looking at a picture of a woman in a bikini that he had already ‘liked.’

“So strange.”

In an exclusive interview with The Advocate, Liz Vanker stated she is no social media expert but knows there is a thing called The Algorithm that serves users the type of content their brain best reacts to.

“Add to that he wasn’t even on the discover tab, he was just going through a bikini models feed, he must think I’m really effing stupid,” stated Liz as she contemplated messaging a male friend from high school just for a laugh.

“Wait until I tell him I can see the things he likes. I’ll save that for a rainy day.”


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