Inmates across several remand centres and watch-houses on Queensland’s South-East have today been warned about the possibility of a nipple cripple in the near future.

Moments ago it was confirmed that former Olympic swimmer Grant Hackett has been arrested on the Gold Coast, according to reports from people chasing a police car with cameras.

Hackett, 36, was taken to Southport Police station this afternoon for an alleged disturbance, Channel Seven reported. Footage showed the swimming star in the back of a paddy wagon wearing handcuffs.

Gold Coast Correctional Centre’s welfare counsellor, Alfie Carrol, says that all inmates have been briefed on ways to defend yourself from the 1500 metres Gold Medal winner’s vice grip.

“This man has a reputation, and unfortunately we don’t have solitary confinement facilities at this centre”

“We have warned our inmates, who range from one-punch offenders to high-ranking bikies, to be wary.”

“They have been informed that this man doesn’t not discriminate when it comes to handing out purple nurples”

The concerns surrounding the possibility of nipple cripples comes after Hackett made headlines in April 2016 for a mid-flight drunken incident.

Hackett allegedly yelled abuse at a fellow passenger before grabbing the man on the chest in an incident now dubbed ‘nipple gate’.

With the obviously troubled individual now at the centre of a media firestorm, it can only be assumed that his previously publicised mental health issues will not be respected in any way, shape or form – over the next few days.



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