ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Chairman of the People’s Republic Of Western Australia has thrown the gauntlet down to his New Zealand counterpart this afternoon after two “likely” cases of the Pangolin’s Wrath have emerged in Melbourne.

Mark McMaoan, the defacto leader of the one-party West, is edging ahead of Jacinda Ardern in the race to slam the border shut to Victorians.

Speaking to state-sponsored media in Perth, McMaoan said he had a mandate to protect his sand people.

“The second these get proven to be legitimate cases, we’re blocking that highway,” he said.

“That is what the people of WA have elected me to do. To protect them from the Sydney Sneeze, the Melbourne Lung Lesions and the Brisbane Bronchitis. At all costs.”

Not to be outdone, the New Zealand Prime Minister said she also had the mandate to cut her country off from the rest of the planet.

“We’re sorry but until Australia is able to work out it’s problems, we’re going to have to put an end to the travel bubble,” she said.

“It’s disappointing but it has to be done.”

The Advocate has reached out to the Office of the Prime Minister for comment but has yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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