At only eight months old, Harper Robertson of Betoota Heights is giving her parents a run for their whinging, attention-seeking millennial money. 

According to mum Leah Robertson (29), her infant daughter has spent a lot of her free time being audibly upset at being the evolutionary benefactor of a new set of teeth.

“My nana said they used to put a teeny bit of bourbon on babies gums to ease the pain of teething but I’ll be damned if I reward her tantrums with some delicious alcohol,” stated Robertson.

“I’ve got teeth, dad’s got teeth, bloody Bluey has bloody teeth and you don’t hear us going on about it!” 

Despite medical scientists agreeing that teeth are actually quite useful if you want to eat something or smoke a cigar cowboy style, young Robertson seems to be oblivious to these benefits and is loudly opposing her impending teeth with all the decibels her infant lungs can muster. 

The unemployed only child was unavailable to comment on her teething tantrums as she hardly speaks any English despite living in Australia her entire life.


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