Dave Warner has done what Dave Warner does best, today.

Keeping fires and headlines burning.  

The Betoota Advocate can reveal that the already tense and testosterone face-off for big dog alpha status currently taking place in South Africa is set to heat up even more.

We can reveal that, Dave Warner, the Vice Captain of the Australian Cricket team and centre of the sledging scandal currently plaguing the test series, picked up the phone to Australian Immigration Minister Peter Dutton who has today come out with a proposal to fast track visa applications for persecuted white farmers in South Africa

Warner, who completely dropped his bucket last after copping some verbal heat from Saffa wicketkeeper Quinton De Kock phoned the minister to request that certain players be prevented from entering the country in future.

“Nah, come on Pete, fuck him. I know you can stop whoever you want from coming into this country, and I know you enjoy it. So why don’t you help me out,” said a visibly angry Warner into his phone as he paced around the front of the team hotel.

“Are you serious mate? You aren’t gonna deny his entry. I should call Barnaby, and see if he can stop one more dog from coming into this country,” said Warner.

We contacted Minister Dutton’s office for comment on the issue, and they told us that if there was a formal request from Steve Smith they would consider it.

“Firstly Smith is the second most important man in the country, Dave doesn’t have that kind of power. And, Secondly, Quinton is just a couple of shades too light for us to go after,” read the official response from his office.


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