Despite the desperate need for a few wins in the midst of this pandemic, the rest of world has today finally snapped while witnessing the Japanese government bumbling through the final dash towards pulling off the Tokyo Summer Olympics.

This follows the news that positive tests have been recorded among the South African athletes, which have sparked fears for the safety of the 11,000 athletes and support staff who will live in the athletes’ village over the next month.

Olympics organisers are now working tirelessly to keep the virus from infecting everyone else involved in the Games ahead of Friday’s opening ceremony, which will take place in an empty stadium – an event that is expected to provide the most haunting imagery of this whole plague.

Australia’s track and field team departed for Japan on Sunday, only after they were forced to temporarily isolate for several hours a pre-Games training camp in Far North Queensland.

With the best athletes on the planet now very much at risk of becoming sick while taking part in this extremely reckless world event, supporters back home are now begging Japan to just give us the cream of the crop and fuck the rest off.

“Just give us the 100 metres” says the rest of the world.

“Fuck the rest off”

“Actually, maybe Murder Ball as well”

“Give us the pinnacle of track and field and give us the most violent Paralympics event. That’s all we want”

“But yeah, we don’t really care about pentathlons right now”

It seems the novelty of hosting the Olympics has even worn off for the Japanese people.

In a survey released on by the Asahi Shimbun newspaper, 83 percent of the Japanese respondents said they did not want Tokyo to hold the Olympics and Paralympic. 43 percent of those polled wanted the Games to be canceled, with 40 percent wanting them delayed again.

However, Japan’s proud political class and the IOC have insisted that the show must go on – and any athlete willing to risk the dangers of competing in the middle of a pandemic will be given the opportunity to do so on the world stage.

Unless they’ve smoked marijuana in the last couple of months.


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