With only 4 more days until Tokyo’s closing ceremony, the locked down residents of Australia don’t want the Olympics to end.

But, unlike our constant outbreaks and social distancing restrictions, the exciting sporting theatre can’t go forever.

However, one silverlining that comes with the conclusion of the games is the fact that we will be able to uninstall and delete the nightmarish app that has had complete ownership of the Olympics broadcast rights.

With a vast portion of the population no longer able to remember where their antenna socket is located, millions of Australians have had to suffer the indignity of watching this historical television event through the 7plus streaming service.

“I still do not know how to use this” says local Betoota Heights mum-of-three, Shayleigh Webster.

“It’s like Channel 7 have created an interactive version of a TV Guide, except there is not information. You just have to choose one of their digital channels and guess which event will be broadcasted”

While the once legendary free-to-air broadcaster has been intent on cramming as much advertisements for ‘other shows’ they will be airing after August 8th, it is commonly acknowledged in most Australian households that this app will be booted from the screen the moment the games end.

“It has caused us so much grief.” says Shayleigh.

“I’ve had to boost moral by running a 7plus death clock in the kitchen.”

“Only four more days to go until I uninstall this piece of shit for four more years’


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here