An out and proud sports novice, who often boasts about having never sat through a full 80 minutes of rugby league appears to be quite up to date with the life and times of Kalyn Ponga.

Despite having a degenerate rugby league fan for a father, mother, brother, sister, brother-in-law and boyfriend – Megan Brooks (26, Betoota Grove) says she hates all sports.

Especially cricket, but also, she hates rugby league.

Her Kiwi boyfriend Greg Rakei (29) says he has tried for years to indoctrinate her into being interested in his weekly Winter ritual of watching the Warriors play.

He says this has been to no avail.

Except for last night, sort of, when he flicked the Knights and Titans on.

At the 65 minute mark of the tight tussle, Greg said he was blown away when Megan looked up from her phone to provide commentary on the match.

“Awww I thought Kalyn nearly went over there” she says.

Greg responds instantly.

“What did you just say?”

“Say exactly what you just said, again”

Megan, acting nonchalant, proceeded to share her in-depth understanding of Newcastle fullback Kalyn Ponga’s career stats, age, income and marital status.

“I thought he was going to score. That’s what I was saying” she says.

“He usually lifts in the second half”

“And he ducked through on a very similar shape in the first half.”

Greg is yet to connect the dots between his misso’s uncharacteristic insight into Kalyn Ponga’s personal and professional life, and his perfectly symmetrical bone structure and frash auburn coloured hair.

“How do you know this shit?” asks Greg.

“I just know” she says.

After inquiring further, Greg soon learns that Megan and her friends are all members of a WhatsApp group solely dedicated to sharing photographs, quotes and urban myths about the 23-year-old Queensland rugby league prodigy.

“His birthday is in March, so technically I’m only four years older than him” she says.

Greg sighs.

“Your mum is in this group chat too” says Megan.



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